A day with Akatsuki
by evil-sensei iruka
Summary: It starts like ant other days for the Akatsuki, but ends.... Yeah if you wanna know read the story. One shoot and crack fic


**Sorry if this offends anyone out there…**

This is a story written by _evil-sensai iruka_ and _Shadow-binder_

OBS We warn you, everybody is crazy like we are =^.^=

_(linelinelineline)_

**Naruto – Behind the scenes**

Akatsuki:

It was a nice and sunny day in Akatsukis HQ and for once in a long, long time it was silent and peaceful.

"AAAAHHHH" okay, maybe not completely silent. The sound of elephants came down the hill, something was running in front of the sound. That something had a orange mask on. And the thing sounding a lot like elephants came from behind him, that thing had something green on top of it and was saying "Om-nom-nom." As it was running behind him.

"RUN BITCH RUN!" someone with a lot of blood on him yelled as he came out from a little pink room with suspicious looking things in it.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP, UN." Someone on a giant clay bird yelled, sounding agitated. Then the bird exploded, still with the one yelling on top of it.

"Wasj sjomeone sjaing anthing?" a blue guy asked, sounding drunk. He was swaying on his feet and was looking like might fall… Which he did. With a giant thump that shook the earth.

"Hn." Someone said as the person stepped out of the building, sun glasses was covering the persons eyes and he stepped on the blue guy, most likely on purpose.

"Oy crapface, you owe me money." Someone with hair looking like a duck butt said as he went to run after the guy with green on him. They were running in circles, the orange guy in front screaming about being a good boy, the green guy screaming OM-NOM-NOM and the duck butt guy yelling about the green guy owing him money.

"Was someone talking about money?" a guy with a lot of stitches asked, hanging down from somewhere, like Spiderman would aka upside-down and on a thin thread that looked a lot like it would snap soon.

And it did. With a great plunk he landed on top of the blue guy in a pose that looked strangely like he was having some real "fun" with him.

"Ohh that lookssss niccce." Someone said, sounding like a snake. He went to grab onto the two before he was hit in the head with something. He looked down to see what it was and saw something that looked really strange.

It was a arm.

It had a mouth.

The smile on that same mouth looked sadistic.

The mouth was chewing on something.

It spit it out.

He noticed that it was a little cute spidey.

The spidey crawled up his hairy leg and onto his face, then it did something that will forever be remembered as truly awesometastic.

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It blew up.

As the man – or was it a woman – ran around, screaming about his "beautiful" eyes, the guy with the duck butt hair had gotten hold of the green guy and was holding onto the green part of him with all of his might, cause hey, who wanna get eaten by a giant green…………. THING??? Huh, you want that??? No??? Didn't think so either.

"Gimme my money man." He screamed into the mans ear and proceeded to yank at the green parts of him until the guy became agitated and took a hold of the guys right leg, found a cliff and held the guy out there by the leg, all the while cackling evilly.

Then the guy with the orange on came running and jumped onto the green guys back, looking a lot like the duck butt guy had before.

"Is Tobi doing this right? Tobi is a good boy." The orange guy, now known as Tobi, yelled as he proceeded to yank at the green parts of the other guy, he got agitated again and yanked Tobi off and held him out like he was doing to the other boy, cackling evilly again.

The he did something that the oh so good boy Tobi did not like.

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He dropped them.

As they fell they were both screaming, the duck butt guy was sounding a awful lot like a little girl as the other one had a very dark scream. They landed in a great cloud of dust.

No one wanted to clean up so it was never found out how it looked down there – not that anyone would like to know it, but besides that.

The snake man… Thing was still running around, screaming about his "beautiful" face, the blue man was still out cold, the stitch man was still lying on top of the blue one, the guy with the sun glasses was just standing there, the arm had disappeared – probably to go wreak havoc and scare little kids – then someone with purple hair came running, she was holding her finger and was looking like she was panicking.

"I got a paper cut, oh my God, I'm going to die." She yelled as she ran past the people – who was staring at her rather weirdly, even though you wouldn't be able to tell if the one with the sunglasses was staring at her weirdly, the sunglasses was good at preventing that particular thing – they saw her run further, she passed the green guy and continued to run…

"KEEP RUNNING BITCH, JASHIN-SAMA WILL FUCKING GET YOU." The guy with the blood on him yelled as she ran off the cliff.

And she did keep running… Until she realized that she had nothing under her feet and she began to fall.

And fall…

And fall…

And fall…

And fall…

And fall…

And fall…

And fall…

And fall…

And fall…

And fall…

And fall…

And fall…

And fall…

Then she landed in a great cloud of dust and on top of an arm with a grinning hand – the hand was on her boob – then it exploded.

The green guy was still standing on top of the hill, cackling madly and now having the great urge to go down there to eat something but it would most definitely not be the body parts down there, he didn't know where they had been and would not want to catch any kind of sickness from the limbs.

He was on the top of the world, that is, until the guy with blood all over him came running, cursing about Jashin-sama and that he would kill anyone, the guy ran right smack dab into the back of the guy in front of him, sending both of them over the edge of the cliff. The guy with blood on him kept on cursing, every once in a while telling the green guy – now known as Zetsu, thanks to the bloody guys awful potty mouth – both of them landed hard on the ground, Zetsu saying that it was all Hidans fault and that he should just go friggin die.

"I can't fucking die you fucking heathen." Hidan cursed and send his best glare at Zetsu. Then they saw a shadow coming down on them, they looked up to see something that looked black – which had probably been because of the sun, but they did not think about that – it landed hard on them and they both groaned at the feel of the heavy thing on top of them – not once did Zetsu think about his ability to melt into the ground. The guy on top of them groaned and began to rub a certain part of his anatomy against them, both of them stiffened and suddenly, the intent to kill was rolling off of them in giant waves.

But nothing happened since they heard a scream coming from somewhere above them, they looked up to see if anyone would be coming to join them soon.

_On top of the hill_

The guy with the sunglasses was still standing there, ignoring everything around him, until something heavy collided with his side, he looked down to see the girl that had been on Sasukes team hang off his arm, he raised a brow – not that she would be able to tell since the sunglasses was covering the top of his face – and just stared at her as if she was a dumb pig.

"Sasuke-kun." She squealed and rubbed her face in the guys arm, he twitched and really wanted her to get off but didn't really know how to do unless he had to kill her. Then another guy came, he had a big sword with him and his teeth looked sharp, he glared slightly at the girl and the proceeded to try and ignore her, but that became too hard as she continued to squeal in an annoying kind of way and then he got enough.

"Shut the fuck up Karin." He said angrily and grabbed onto the back of her shirt and yanked her off the man, another guy came walking, he looked peaceful and had a bird on his shoulder, he looked at his teammates when he heard them scream at each other, they came closer and closer to the hill and then they fell over the edge, still screaming at each other. They landed right on top of the people still down there, and was knocked out cold. The guy that had come right after them had tried to grab them when they fell but didn't catch them which resulted in him standing right at the edge, swaying dangerously, then a little gust of wind came and he fell.

He landed on top of all of them, and heard them cursing him all the way to hell, he got a little angry but got off them, Karin took it a little too far and with Sasuke not being there to hold his temper down, it flared and the curse mark spread over his body, with a giant roar he took after them and proceeded to pull the gay to shreds first, then he proceeded to pull Karin to shreds, then the sword guy, then Zetsu – who still hadn't remembered his ability to melt into the ground – then Hidan who he buried in a giant hole afterwards which he buried the jashinist in.

He looked up and realized that there were more people up there, so he tore up the hill side and as he was just about to get all the way up he met something that hurt a lot…

That thing was…

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The awesometastic attack of his leader that sent him back to land hard on the ground, a bone puncturing the lung in the process…

Ouch…

The leader of the group was standing on top of the hill, looking down with sorrow in his eyes, he knew that his flower was dead and he could not live without her, so he decided to take matters in his own hand and plunged a kunai into himself and fell over the cliff, he heard a shout behind him, he only got to see someone with red hair running to him as he passed out from blood loss.

Then the stitch man woke up and proceeded to walk to the guy with the red hair and cuffed him upside the head, asking him where the hell his money had gone to, that just resulted in both of them fighting.

The went toward the trees to never be seen again.

Never ever again.

Never ever, ever again.

Never ever, ever, ever again.

Never ever, ever, ever, ever again.

And that left the guy with the sunglasses and the blue guy there.

Then the blue guy woke up and looked around, than he turned to his partner.

"What the hell happened?" he asked.

"Hn."

"Seriously Itachi, what the hell happened?"

"Hn."

"Please answer the question."

"… They were drunk."

"And?"

"They died out of stupidity."

"Err, yeah."

"Hn."

"Can't you say anything else?"

"..."

"Oh my God, it's a fish."

"Foolish."

…And that was the end of the all too strange days with the Akatsuki…

_(linelinelineline)_

**Done…**

**Good? **

**Bad?**


End file.
